The Great Slurpee War

I have a serious medical condition. Incredibly debilitating, an onset of it can strike anytime - with no warning - and can last for days at a time. If you were to consult a medical dictionary, you'd find it listed as a McFlaving, otherwise quite simply known as 'McFlurry cravings'; whereby the sufferer can think about nothing else except devouring one of McDonald's finest desserts. (Much, much better than those sundaes they serve.) Of course, I'm unable to satisfy this urge as I don't live near a McDonald's. And for the sake of my wallet this is probably a good thing.

But recently I have been battling another debilitating disorder. I once suffered from this same disorder as a child, but it went into remission when I hit adolescence. That is, until two months ago when my local medical centre moved down the road, leaving an empty lot for some weeks. There was much speculation as to who would be adopting this space... and what was eventually unveiled drew gasps of awe from passer-bys, sparked much conversation amongst the locals and brought a few frowns from the old folk. For it was a 7-Eleven store!

I remember the day it opened. It was 1.00am Saturday, 27th March. I was en route home after a big night out and there were four drunken boys stumbling along in front of me. Suddenly they stopped and one of them declared to his mates,

"Mecca has opened!" 

Too right it had. There was no denying the neon glow flooding the street. While the four boys headed straight through the 'doors to heaven' I tried my best to use some restraint and headed off up the road. 

It was then that I knew I was in trouble. It took less than 24 hours for this disorder to re-emerge and at 7.24pm that night I submitted to temptation. I had a slurpee!

It was McFlavings all over again, only this time the McFlurry was taking a backseat to 7-Eleven's forte: the slurpee. For the following fortnight I tried my best to walk past the store, eyes front, ignoring the voices inside my head screaming 'slurpee'.

But at 3.04pm last Saturday I gave in once again. Now I've suffered from many addictions over the years; alcohol, inappropriate jokes, McFlurries... but this latest addiction has me worried. With a slurpee machine open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, 50 metres away from my front door, I'm scared my latest addiction may become a REAL affliction.