My top 10 tips for safe slurpee consumption

It was pointed out to me that my last slurpee blog was uploaded the very same day that Sydney's time-trials were being held for the national slurp-off competition. The current record-holder, 'Ice Man', managed to down one in 52 seconds and is now throwing down the gauntlet to all Australians. 

So a crown will be bestowed upon our new Australian champion on 26th May amidst much ice, confetti and all things slushee. Now I'm in no way suggest anyone EVER attempt this. There are yet to be any medical studies done on the permanent damage done by brain freezes and could you imagine the type of brain freeze you'd get! 

My two recent forays into slurpee drinking have convinced me that it is in fact a dangerous  past-time that should be exercised with caution. And for that reason, I thought this blog would be an ideal way to educate people on how to consume slurpees responsibly. So my top ten tips for safe slurpee consumption are:

1. Don't be scared to push those pre-pubescent boys away from the slurpee machine. The 7-Eleven is their mecca, the slushee their shrine, and would quite happily stand there all day, oblivious to anyone else who may want access to it. 
2. Put the lid on the cup BEFORE you fill it up. Once it has been filled, the cup walls becomes soft and will not hold their shape.
3. If you decide to fill the ice level above the rim of the cup, then you have a three minute lee-way before the ice starts melting and you run the high risk of leakage. And nobody wants sticky fingers.
4. Carry a serviette or tissue with you at all times. Slurpees can be a messy business.
5. Don't be scared to mix flavours, but be warned: coke and mountain-dew do not mix well together. Coke and raspberry do.
6. Take two slurps, then a breath. If you have have three slurps in a row then you're pretty much guaranteed a throat freeze and will need 30 seconds 'time-out' to recover.
7. Keep swirling the slurpee as you drink. This will ensure the flavouring does not all seep to the bottom.   
8. Do not run while slurping. Not only will you risk spillage, but if you fall then you could suffer from straw induced injuries in your mouth.   
9. When you reach the dregs of the cup, don't bother with the spoon/straw. Pop off the lid and just pour it straight down your throat. It should have melted enough by then to avoid brain freezes.
10. If you do encounter a brain freeze, either rub the base of your skull with your hand or press your tongue against the roof of your mouth. This will hopefully relieve the symptoms.